President Elect Barack Obama has promised to assemble not only the best and brightest minds of our time but of all time to help him in his upcoming administration. Below is a list of likely candidates for secretaries of top posts.
Treasury…Karl Marx, no wimpy socialist.
Defense…William Penn, killer pacifist Quaker.
State…Adolph Hitler, light-handed negotiator.
Interior…Sigmund Freud, the inside of your skull is his sky.
Posterior…Mariah Carey, between boyfriends.
Health & Human Services…Ronald McDonald, dietary expert & educator.
Commerce…Tony Soprano, knows business.
Labor…Paris Hilton, real blue collar ethic.
Corn (formerly Agriculture)…Michael Pollan, omnivore’s answer.
Energy…Rip Van Winkle, has ground covered.
Veterans Affairs…Yankee Doodle, seen it all.
Education…Pandora, will open box on school vouchers.
Housing & Urban Development…Ebenezer Scrooge, prisons are housing.
Homeland Security…Osama Bin Laden, knows our vulnerable spots.
Management & Budget…Curly Howard, Larry and Moe were busy.
Attorney General…Charles Manson, justice is blind rage.
Surgeon General…Doctor Frankenstein, bio-tech genius.
National Security Advisor…Alfred E. Newman, what, we worry?
Don Arrup
Satire1
