Viagranomics

Now that science has finally cured aging and conquered gravity we have entered the age of Viagronomics. Home values, stock prices and the nation’s virility will only rise. Nothing goes down. Nothing gets soft.

The recent financial crisis is merely a reset on our mindset as the completely new reality which people, having suffered the ravages of Time and been denied perpetual copulation, understandably doubt. It is a crisis of confidence. People lost their financial boners because they naturally assumed that today could be operating in conditions similar to those in the past.

Why don’t our leaders tell us that the past is over?

They say tomorrow. They say change. They talk about our children. We all knew what tomorrow, change and children meant. The same old shit only worse and more expensive. Now they mean the same old shit on fire.

Here’s how we’re going to burn. Since there is no way even if we wanted to pay for the retirement and care of the first class of baby boomers which is happening today the government will propose the brothelization of retirement. Studies estimate that by turning our retirement homes and communities into brothels we can cut the costs of Medicare in half. That is still four times more than we can afford in the most prosperous of times but it is a beginning. Social Security will become Sexual Security so that taxpayers can get screwed for being screwed. Those workers earning too little to pay taxes are screwed anyway.

The states will be invited to prostitute their middle and high school students so that they earn their educations and gain real world experience. Pornography will be blocked from the Internet and cable television to assure a steady demand for old and young ass. Condom use mandatory. Conversation discouraged.

With much of the costs of entitlements and education covered the American economy will be free to fly again. The rate of our growth will follow the projection of a youthful erection. Hard on for prosperity.

The lesson of Viagranomics is clear. If you are old, young or a taxpayer you are screwed. So screwed no one will deny it. Somebody will get rich and many will get richer but it won’t be you. You’re screwed.


Don Arrup
Satire1