Thursday, June 25, 2009

Ayatollah Condemns Violence In Minnesota's Senate Election

As the boarders close between Minneapolis and St. Paul and the Minnesota National Guard is called out by Gov. Tim Pawlenty to disarm the State Police, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran, called on the international fantasy community to condemn the violence in the Gopher State. At the heart of the civil war are the disputed election returns from last November’s U.S. Senate race between incumbent Neanderthal Norm Coleman and challenger Hippie Al Franken.

“The city of St. Paul is appalled by the Governor’s suppression of the demonstrations calling for the seating of Al Franken to give the Democrats the filibuster busting 60th seat,” said Mayor Mary Richards.

“The election results are a farce,” said Mayor Ted Baxter of Minneapolis, “in a state with 4 million voters how could anyone win by as many as 300 votes in a recount that only took seven months?”

Violence escalated when Minneapolis’ most famous resident Minerva (Minnie) Mouse was shot down in the streets while protesting the protests. A camera crew from WJM-TV’s Six O’clock News was on hand to ask Ms. Mouse whom she had voted for. With her dying breath she confessed she could not remember the election having been so long ago. “Since breaking up with Mickey I’ve learned to live in the here and now.”

President Obama threatened grave repercussions if the Iranian meddling continues. “Though I along with former President Reagan owe our elections to the Iranian leadership, the people of Minnesota will decide for themselves who will be Mickey Mouse’s next girlfriend.”

Don Arrup
Satire1

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