On Friday, June 12, 2009 all analog television transmissions ended and only high definition digital signals are allowed to saturate our airways. Since the conversion to HDTV signals represented a financial burden on lower income Americans who were still receiving their transmissions like Fred Flintstone the federal government provided a converter box coupon program valued at $40 which was usually enough to cover the tax on the lower end boxes.
Being that no digital to analog converter box actually works the manufactures were encouraged to offer a wide variety of special features.
Antenna Tyrant 5000
Features patented BS* filter to remove any exaggeration or fabrication of facts uttered by politicians, experts and business leaders. Essentially shuts out news programs, documentaries, political campaign commercials, interview shows and the State of the Union address.
BoobTube 46D
Exclusive feature enhances breast size of any actresses or reality show participant displaying cleavage. May block out face altogether on generously endowed individuals like Dolly Parton or Rush Limbaugh.
Teltosterone Master
Offers only balls, pucks, guns, cars, bikinis, beers and animals. Easily combined with BoobTube 46D.
Estrogen Third Millennium
Blocks all balls, pucks, guns, cars, bikinis and beers. Animals optional.
Barney Carry Yoke
Adds simple calliope background to Hearing Impaired close captioning making every program a sing a long. FDIC warns not to operate with in laws after consuming alcoholic beverages.
Don Arrup
Satire1
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment