After being sentenced by Judge Chin to 150 years in prison for running history’s largest financial ponzi scheme, Bernard Madoff announced that he would serve the term as a hiatus from his business and not officially retire until 2162 after he has had a few years of freedom to amass another fortune. Madoff will be 224 years old. “I may need another wife by then,” Madoff said. “I love the old girl but she ought to be okay for a while with the 15 million I transferred into her account when the wolves found our door.”
Madoff assured relatives that he loved his wife as much as any man could but that few marriages last 200 years. “When you’re young and in love you think you will feel the same way forever but as the centuries wear on the differences become difficult to ignore.
Mrs. Madoff is completely on board with me here agreeing to stick by me for my first fifty years of incarceration while I adjust. Then she can go dig up the hidden loot and begin her new life.”
Statistics show that couples separated by incarceration for over a century rarely reunite. “By being realistic now and dealing with the challenges ahead for our family we can still be friends when I’m out and attending our great great grandchildren’s weddings. “
When Madoff was asked if he thought he might remarry while in prison or after he responded, “I’ll probably be tired of being a husband by the time we divorce. I’d like to try being the wife for a change. Hopefully, if I exercise, eat right and keep my figure some nice large tattooed man will have me.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
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