Option Optional

Again Satire1 goes to the United States Senate to inquire how the so-called Public Option or the federal government’s alternative choice to private health insurance is coming along in the new health care reform bill.

“Well, as I see it, the Senate has three options. They can opt for the Public Option for all Americans, opt for the states to decide if they want to offer the option or offer no Public Option at all. I think we should opt to allow states the option whether to offer a public option but if it costs money I’m against it.”

“These bills are so complex and I have three bills in front of the Finance Committee. Thank god the lobbyists have already made up their minds.”

“Whatever the American people have been scared into believing will at the end of the day prevail.”

“I can’t bail out the big insurance companies again and face my electorate. So let the companies soak the taxpayers directly then taxes won’t seem so bad.”

Don Arrup
Satire1

Public Option

Satire1 had the chance to interview Senators from across the country while in Washington on the public option or the federal government’s alternative health care coverage that is to compete with private insurance companies and HMOs.

“I’m for the public option as long as it drops people as soon as they get sick. Otherwise its just not a level playing field.”

“I’m against the proposed public option. Even the federal government can only reach a certain level of inefficiency. People could get the care they need and swell even further our exploding Social Security rolls.”

“I don’t believe in offering the people a choice. I mean, this is America. What your boss chooses for you and your family is fine by me.”

“If the people want good health care coverage then run and win a Senate seat like I did. If you’re a convicted felon then stay in prison.”

“We have a public option for health care now. Its called join the Army.”

“AIG can be the public option. The public already owns it. Let the people rip themselves off.”

“This doesn’t have to anything to do with credit default swaps, does it?”

“I’m all for the public option. The government should offer it to anyone who buys one of our cars.”

“I say draft all the doctors and nurses who aren’t nuns.”

“Why are we messing with the only industry in the country that’s still making a buck?”

“Of course doctor owned hospitals cost Medicare three times as much per patient. Why would anybody go to medical school if not to make money?”

Don Arrup
Satire1

Take The Fall

Who cares about Health Care? We’re all going to die anyway. Whether you live to die rich or forgiven or remembered doesn’t matter. We are like the leaves on the trees. We grow, make our green and then find the rest of our colors hopefully before we fall. Where do we go when we die? In the Earth. That’s good enough.

Circumstances remain anxious. The desperate increase. The huge boulder of inevitability has been slowed by its slaughter but not stopped rolling. Who the hell ever called it a balloon? What pop blows away more households than Katrina? Well, they couldn’t afford health insurance anyway. They were always just a roller skate from the street.

Don Arrup
Satire1

Why Obama Won The Nobel

It is shameful to question the Nobel Prize Committee’s choice of United States President Barack Obama for the International Peace Prize. During the nine plus months of his administration President Obama has:

--Not started a new war even though it is obvious that the American people are tired of Iraq and Afghanistan.

--Bartended for a Boston Police Officer and Harvard Professor.

--Addressed the world’s Muslims and secured peace and security for the state of Israel.

--Not fought publicly with his wife First Lady Michelle Obama and ended domestic violence not only in the present but retroactively back two generations erasing scars of abuse suffered by millions of women and former children.

--Looked good in suits.

--Given the United States Congress the opportunity to make fools of themselves.

--Stood up for a College Football Bowl Championship Playoffs.

--Domesticated Rahm Emanuel at least for now.

--Given Joe Biden a job.

--Given Hilary Clinton a job.

--Extended my unemployment benefits.

Don Arrup
Satire1

Death Default Swaps

Its financial collapse season again. The leaves on Wall Street turn from green to red while the suits turn yellow. Hello. Too much bad paper to push unreal estate so they turn to buying up life insurance payoffs. After years of bundling home loans into securities and gamboling on the solvency of this mania with credit default swaps Wall Street turns to buying up life insurance policies from those no longer needing to protect their children or spouse. They bundle the policies into securities and pay the premiums and hope that water will run uphill this time. Before, they wanted to rob you by lending you money. Now, they want you to die.

Don Arrup
Satire1