Dependence Day

President Obama addressed the nation in his weekly radio spot.

“Today, July 3rd 2010, marks another celebration of our dependence on the foreign governments and investors to keep afloat our unsustainable way of life as Americans. From the under priced goods from Asia’s sweatshops to the blind lending of the Chinese and Japanese governments our bounty is assured.”

“Tomorrow, we will celebrate Independence Day and indeed for a century or two we were independent but that is long gone now. Still, it is fitting to remember that Americans were at one time willing to buy goods made by Americans- even cars. American companies exploited our resources rather than British Petroleum. Hollywood movies weren’t made in Canada. And almost no one played soccer.”

"We should also remember that we once harvested our own food, mowed our own lawns, built our own homes and raised our own children. Now, with new immigration legislation in sight we can seal the borders, deport millions and decimate half our industries."

“Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln would have been proud of us in 1966. Now we remember Chairman Mao and Tojo as our forefathers. We had won World War Two for decades and the Cold War for over ten years but we sold those victories to cover our debts. Long live the People’s Republic of America in the Greater Global Co-Prosperity Sphere.”

Don Arrup
Satire1