Occupy Main Street

The nation’s wealthiest families have taken to the beaches of their private islands vowing to sit in the elements and not return to their homes until the tyrannous 99% stop oppressing them with their demonstrations in Zuccotti Park in Manhattan.

Braving 86 degree temperatures under bright sunshine which plunge to near 70 at night, American Plutocrats vow to stand up for “The Smallest and Most Oppressed Minority in the United States.”

Claiming to have not received any direct assistance from the federal government as they struggle through the most severe recession since the Great Depression the Plutocrats claim that the massive growth of their slice of the economy has caused them nothing but headaches and social isolation.

“The smart money was already long out of the banks and investment houses before the bubble burst. The government didn’t bail us out. We had already bailed ourselves out.”

“Nobody’s buying islands anymore and the market value of half my mansions has gone down by almost a third. I’m tired of seeing people who’ve lost their $125,000 homes complaining on TV. I’ve lost more than that on the asking price of my classic Bentley,“

“Sure we own Congress but for all the value we’ve gotten on our billions we would have done better to endow a new Monkey House at the National Zoo.”

“The way the national debt and globalization pans out now most Americans actually work for the Chinese. The beauty of it is if you move to China you could work for us.”

“How can this rabble complain about our lobbyists? Somebody has to subsidize the millionaires in Congress who are sacrificing their top robbing years to serve the nation. What do they want? Dumb thieves running this country?”

Don Arrup
Satire1