President Obama, House Speaker Boehner, Senate Majority Leader Reid and Chief Justice Roberts formally handed the Constitution and keys to the White House, Congress and Supreme Court over to a CUNY undergraduate in Sociology behind a card table in Lacotti Park today marking the end of the Free Market Capitalist Oligarchy that has ruled the country since its founding.
A guillotine was constructed in the graveyard of Trinity Church at the top of Wall Street to accommodate everyone making over a million dollars in annual income who is not a media star or Warren Buffet. The People’s Bureau of Investigation began arresting banksters and stock robbers as part of a nationwide sweep of anyone who turned a profit since the Great Recession began.
Private property has been abolished and all marriages are voided as the period of genital monopolization ends. The family unit is dismantled and children under the new age of consent (12 years) will be redistributed by lottery to couples demonstrating truly democratic relationships.
All private homes will be demolished as they are the most divisive and unequal element in society. Tents, wigwams and igloos will be the only allowable shelters in the new United Citizens of America. Banks will become free food distribution centers and nursing homes will end their age discrimination and accommodate anyone who has just plain had it.
Schools will stop manufacturing fodder for the heartless industrial poison machine and all institutes of higher learning will become research centers for time and mind travel.
October 31st is the new Independence Day. Every Monday is Memorial Day and Malcolm X’s birthday will replace Martin Luther King’s as a national day of observance.
Barter, seduction and violence will replace Federal Reserve Notes and all other currencies while workers will toil for the satisfaction of knowing they have contributed to the general good.
Legislation pending General Assembly approval:
Everyone is to be painted blue to end racial discrimination
Distribute nuclear arsenal to Third World countries and stateless minorities
Legalize terrorism
Invade Alaska
Recognize Disney World as a sovereign state
Mandate a Star Wars channel
Invite Iraq and Afghanistan to join the Union
Make Satire1 the blog of record
Don Arrup
Satire1
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