2013 No

Tea Party favorite Chris Christie used his power as governor of New Jersey to cancel Halloween in the Garden State to protect children from falling tree limbs and downed power lines left in the wake of super storm Sandy. So far, there is no indication the governor will outlaw Christmas. 

The fate of the new year of 2013 though is sealed. By executive order Governor Christie has cancelled both the New Year and all years following until it can be determined that they present no danger to the citizens of NJ. 

"Our state has just suffered a terrible wallop from Sandy and it will be years before many of our communities will recover. What we don't need just as we start to pick up the debris of 2012 is the thirteenth year of the millennium.  So I have instructed our state and local governments to ignore the standard calendar which was never voted on by the people of New Jersey and simply assign the days, weeks and months following December 31st as 2012 Two."

"I think the people of New Jersey deserve another shot at 2012. We were doing well, recovering from the Great Recession, until an unelected supernatural bureaucrat mother of nature committed this act of terrorism on us."

"President Obama, who has been outstanding in coordinating federal relief with our state and local agencies, supports canceling 2013 if we drop the ball on 2014 the following year."

"This is not a Republican or Democratic issue. This is a I just don't want to face a new year issue."

Don Arrup

Satire1