Capitol Punt

Leading members of the both parties in Congress were joined by Administration officials on the steps of the Capital today to announce the long sought Grand Bargain to settle the nation's entitlement and debt issues. The question as to whether the government should cut seniors benefits like Social Security and Medicare or to drive the last nail in the coffin of public education and Head Start will be decided in the NCAA's Bowl Championship Football Game between the Florida State Seminoles and the Auburn Tigers.

Since Florida is the retirement capital of the country their state university will battle to keep something resembling the promises made to seniors over their working lifetimes. While AU in Auburn, Alabama, a college town with 60% of their population under 24 will fight for the obligation society owes to the next generation.

Heralded by liberal and conservative pundits alike, the decision to punt the decision to the BCS Bowl Game promises to end the endless bickering, kowtowing, slander, cowardice and mendacity that has marked the debate. 

House Speaker Boehner and Senate Majority Leader Reid took turns in listing the advantages of this historic compromise:

1) Both sides play by the same rules.

2) Decisions made in the booth are much faster than in the Supreme Court

3) Filibusters will be flagged as Delay of Game

4) Last minute changes in Conference Committee will be flagged for Illegal Substitution

5) Last minute pullouts of legislators or President will be flagged for Illegal Shift

6) Claiming ownership of popular aspects flagged as Neutral Zone Infraction

7) Blaming other party for unpopular aspects flagged as Unsportsmanlike Conduct

8) Threats of funding withdraw of Alumni balanced by threats of student unrest

9) NCAA has the balls

10) Despite Byzantine overtime rules, the game will end with a clear winner 

So a lot will be riding on the play in Pasadena- hope for the future or another comfortable decade or two for Baby Boomers. Odds makers favor Florida State since everyone who is not old already hopes to be one day and children and the unborn don't vote in most states. 

Don Arrup

Satire1