Vaginatine

Grandpaw Straw, what's the fuss girls make out of red candy day?

--Oh, Billy, they ache to honor righteous Vaginatine.

Is he the baby with the bow and thorn?

--No, Billy, that's too cute Cupid. Beware of him, Righteous Vaginatine was a Roman who crossed over to the cross and put on the big hat and hitched up young folks going to the big cats. 

He did this in a church?

--Wherever he was where young people wanted to marry. Even his fellow prisoners before his demise.

What did the bad guys do to him?

--They went clubbing on him but he was up for the party.

So how did he die?

--He lost his head like many a man do over love.

So Grandpaw Straw, what is this thing big people call love?

--Great big fuss. Huge box of chocolates and nobody knows what the chocolate hides. Some of them are kisses and some of them are lies. Soft music. Low lights. Then thunderclap lightning boom! What happened? Who am I?

That don't sound like fun, Grandpaw.

--I know, I know, but in a couple of years, Billy, girls will start looking like ice cream.

Happy Valentine's Day

Don Arrup

Satire1