Saturday, June 4, 2016

You Walk, You Die


As the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the kingdom can now be sued for its role in the 9/11 terrorist attacks and President Obama, soon to be out of office and out of their pocket, dares to criticize the land of 5,000 princes, just when you thought Saudi Arabia couldn’t sink any further into the sinkhole of history it reached down down down into the sewer and pulled up Uber.

The Public Investment Fund of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia joins the black heart of BlackRock, Wall Street pirates Gold Man Sacks & Rapes, Captain Morgan Stanley and terrorist loving Qatar in funding the infant stealing, women trafficking, organ peddling, pedestrian murdering “transportation” cabal three and a half billion dollars. 

The tentacles of Uber now strangle 460 cities in 69 countries and its standing army of “drivers” in the Middle East alone has grown to 395,000 making it the fourth largest force in the region and over twice the size of Israel’s military.

Claiming to assist progress in the kingdom by driving license deprived women to jobs and relatives, Uber has been quietly switching out young women from under their burkas with elderly beggars to feed the brothels of Cairo and Cleveland. Oil obese SA has too many sons without jobs and daughters who require dowries. 

So Uber Technologies Inc. joins its brethren Al-Qaida, the Taliban, hundreds of American and Israeli hating madrassas Koran schools and anyone with at least a hand in Sunni Muslim terror or adventurism. 

Uber Fuhrer Travis Kalanick sits on the lap of Saudi King Salman but who is the ventriloquist and who is the dummy? Whose hand has discreetly slipped up the orifice of the other? Who is the bitch and who is the mother?

Since Satire1 has been exposing the innumerable crimes of Uber Technologies for some time we thought to ask the Presidential candidates for their opinion on the sins of the Strangling U.

Senator Bernard Sanders
“As a United States Senator with full access to intelligence reports I am fully aware of the international crime organization that operates out of San Fransisco- for god’s sake, it’s worse than Spectre in the James Bond novels- but the kids like that they are part of the dumb phone app world and it is the very pinnacle of irresponsibility and betrayal to tell your core constituency things they don’t want to hear.”

Hillary Clinton
“You’re asking me if I know about Uber Tech? As Secretary of State I had to create over a dozen special task forces to deal with their sex slave trade, kidney and other organ harvesting and their ridiculously overpriced rides. They’re more trouble than the Chinese, Putin and North Korea combined and that’s the difference between me and Donald Trump. I know exactly what I’m doing every time I cash their check.”

Donald Trump
“What? Uber, the car guys? You call them rapists, you call them murders, kidnappers, terrorists and worse. I call them businessmen. A lot of decent, hard working people have gotten a second or third or fourth chance in this lousy Obama economy through Uber. I bet you right now Uber is employing thousands of single mothers, foster teens and transgenders who nobody else would give a chance. They’re probably tied down spread eagle and gagged but it’s a job and what will help make America great again.”

Don Arrup
Satire1 

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