Hillary Clinton won the West Virginia Democratic Presidential Primary on May 13th leading Osama Bin Laden by more than forty per cent. Senator Barack Obama was also on the ballot but no one knew who he was.
“Being a terrorist himself he should know how to deal with these guys,” said Tex Whittie of Mingo County who voted for Bin Laden, “and he’s the richest of all these millionaires running so he’s probably the smartest.” When asked if he considered Barack Obama as a choice Tex said, “I saw him once on TV and he seems like a pretty smart guy but he’s only a senator in Al-Qaeda. What this country needs is the head guy.”
“I voted for Billary Clinton the last two times and was thrilled to support him again,” said Marge Nobainer of Pocahontas County, “and he should use Monica Lewinski again as Secretary of State. She has great secretarial skills and could make some real headway with those Talibanians.” When informed that it was Bill’s wife Hillary who was running Marge seemed surprised. “That big headed stud talking on the back of the pickup truck was his wife? I’m not for gay marriage.”
“I wouldn’t consider that Obama fellow after I heard how his preacher caused 9/11 and gave truck drivers AIDS,” said Milbore Chesston of Wirt.
“I didn’t know Hillary and Ben Laden were in the Senate together till yesterday,” said Eloise Poke of Boone. “I thought she had a real job. I would have voted for John McCain but I don’t see how he could run the country from a North Korean prison cell.”
Don Arrup
Satire1
