April Fool 2009

I had to go to the bank today but I couldn’t afford the fare to Washington.

This is all South Dakota’s fault.

Wall Street, Main Street, Mean Street. Did somebody switch the signs?

Toys Are Us

Since Wall Street feeds almost directly into Market Street circumstances have changed the two into Wal-Mart Street. Get your bib.

McDonald’s

You want to know what’s wrong with the economy? Rich people are skinny and poor people are fat. It just can’t work that way.

Which would you rather lose, your job or your mind? Are you losing your mind over losing your job? Or, have you already lost your job because the fear of losing it made you lose your mind? Does your job, even secure, make you lose your mind? Do you mind your job? Do you need a mind for your job? Was that burger with fries?

First Financial

Everywhere you go you see FF loans, FF bank, FF investments. You never see Last Financial anything because that’s you.

SAG

While the economy continues to sag the Screen Actor’s Guild, terrified that the studios might shoot another film in Hollywood, is demanding to be paid every time a fourteen year old whacks off to Netflix. Obviously, they are following the Detroit model that works so well for retired autoworkers. California leading the way again.

Rite Aid

The quickest way for the country to have affordable health care is to attack Canada and lose. As the Palestinians of North America we would be eligible for affordable prescriptions and could bitch about Ontario instead of Washington for a change.

Don Arrup
Satire1