Okay, let’s say you have three months to live. How can you make your retirement fund stretch comfortably to summer in our imploding economic times? Here are a few simple tips to make your golden spring a lasting one.
First, no treasury bills. You will almost certainly outlive the American dollar. Forget the Euro. It’s already dropping faster than your pants. Greece and Spain are as doomed as New York and California. You’ll be glad you’re not alive when they hit the fan. So forget about anything that is issued by a government.
The Stock Market, on any exchange, is a computer game and the game is over. Gold is too heavy and you won’t be able to give away silver or precious stones except to children if there still are any.
Real Estate is generally frowned upon. Climatic changes are accelerating. By next week hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes will be considered mild weather. Buy caves. Caves will be the hot market in real estate before the end of April.
Firearms but most of all ammunition will be the currency in the coming months. So I would suggest a four to six hundred to one ratio of ammo to firearm depending on your trigger finger. Those hoping to survive six months should simply purchase, extort and steal all they can get. Though the price of grenades, bazookas and heavy machine guns has skyrocketed this winter they are still a bargain at any price. You have to have a few heavy hitters in your portfolio in order to not be exposed.
But most importantly, and I cannot emphasize this enough, buy some ass. Ass is a good investment in any economic climate and it will help you get your mind off your investments and death.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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