Transparency

In compliance with the new enforcement policy of the Securities and Exchange Commission we here at Goldman Sachs wish to reword some of our recent product proposals.

CHUMP FUND
Specifically designed by John Paulson president of the Up Your Shorts Hedge Fund to implode with the popping of the Housing Bubble. A perfect tax shelter for any individual or profit seeking institution that suffers the possibility of a higher tax bracket, Chump Fund promises to throw your money away hopefully in the direction of Mr. Paulson and Goldman Sachs.

GOLDMAN GAMBOL
Buy shares in Goldman Sachs where the value of your dollar is in our pocket. Go with the richest, most over compensated pirates in three-piece suits and be assured that as we gambol recklessly with your money and the nation’s economy the price of our executive’s shares can never go down.

BONER BONUSES
Cut out the middlemen and boring prospectuses and invest your money directly in our upper management’s bonus compensation program. You will be supporting the talented creators of the Great Recession and helping to keep our analysts off the high seas where our Navy can’t find them.

And remember the Goldman Sachs motto:

Never in the history of money has so much damage been done to so many by so few.

Don Arrup
Satire1