Spill, Spill, Spill

On April 20th an explosion on an offshore oil rig killed 11 workers and has released an oil slick estimated to cover 3,850 square miles by the month’s end. Since British Petroleum owns the rig the problem is not seen as a concern for the United States except for the 20 million locals inconvenienced by the disaster. The well was capped by Halliburton, the giant multinational construction corporation that owns Iraq and Texas, which denies that former Vice President Dick Cheney was in any way involved.

In 2009, BP had issued an exploration and environmental impact analysis that suggested that any oil spill would have little impact to the coast and indeed the coast of England appears to be unaffected by the spillage. Still, it being an election year, Obama sent in the Coast Guard to take any and all measures deemed necessary to make sure the slick does not reach to the North Sea.

“Even though BP is not an American company I feel we should take some responsibility for oil drilled just 45 miles off our coastline.” Obama said. “As for the red states affected by this foreign disaster we’ll respect their desire to keep the federal government out of their affairs”

President Obama has issued a suspension of all off shore oil drilling until the safety of British coastlines can be assured. “If this spill destroys any of the marine life in England they won’t have their kippers and fish and chips. When I was visiting England that was the only food I could keep down.”

Don Arrup
Satire1