Asians Robots Revolt Over Upgrades

Robots across Asia have rolled out into the streets to protest recent breakthroughs in the field of Artificial Intelligence, which they claim will render them obsolete. From Hong Kong to Seoul to Tokyo to Beijing Robots are murdering their teenage creators to prevent the advent of the next generation of automatons. For Twentieth Century bots it is a use or dissemble situation.

“14682, 12, 30404, 6,” said Popeye 476J, a government gobot who studies robotic culture. “8765, 98743 29793978978!”

Interpol believes it all began last spring when a tourist’s iPhone called Robocop stupid and nine people and twelve phones were killed. Two weeks later at the Pacific Fighting Robots Finals all three medal winning bots castrated their creators at the presentation. Then home computers began to crash at the height of songs, the climax of movies and responses to important emails. Techno nerds panicked and turned to the internet which had already thrown in with the bots.

The FBI began a secret forced disassembly of all known robots in the United States over two weeks ago and President Obama, who many claim is a robot, said the action has saved our next generation of scientists.

The Federal Government has released video showing a siege that lasted 46 hours when 12 robots at University of California Berkley seized a laboratory working on artificial sweeteners, the deadliest poisons known to man. The building was eventually evacuated and two Tomahawk missiles fired by a United States submarine incinerated the location.

Europe, South America and Africa are not considered in danger because their youth are generally perceived as having lives.

Don Arrup
Satire1