Dead Vote

Since an increasing number of states have legislated to empower poll workers to disenfranchise voters for having names or skin the federal government fearing too low a turnout would threaten its legitimacy has lifted the ban on the dead and fictional voting in the upcoming presidential election. 

Satire1 in its never ending quest to bring you the low down on the low down has been going to graveyards, libraries and comics shops to poll the new likely voters.

Mickey Mouse

"I voted for Barrack Obama last time because I know how hard it is to be taken seriously when you're black and have big ears but the price of cheese both imported and domestic has risen faster than the rate of inflation throughout his presidency so I'm giving Romney a second look."

Sam Adams

"Romney is against tyrannous taxation but he doesn't drink beer."

Pocahontas

"Romney thinks I'm a Jew and Obama thinks I'm a cartoon."

Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow

"I do whatever the radio tells me."

Abraham Lincoln

"I don't know why we dead were disenfranchised in the first place. Half the living citizens don't vote."

Elvis

"Chuck Berry for president."

Moe Horowitz (of Larry, Moe and Curly)

"Not two Irish guys again."

Wizard of Oz

"We have to invest more in wind or soon we won't have any."

Paul Bunyan 

"I log companies for Bain Capital."

Bigfoot

"I only care about abortion."

John Wayne

"They're registering people who live in nursing homes. Ever been to one? Everyone moons around all day and takes drugs. Bunch of hippies."

Super Man

"I'm from Krypton so I've no problem with Obama's nationality but how does Romney conceal his identity without a mask?"

Rip Van Winkle

"Every time I wake up the country's in crisis."

Don Arrup

Satire1