President Obama has indicated that he will sign legislation now moving through the House and Senate Conference Committee banning the sale of assault rifles to gay boy scouts. Though the proposed law enjoys wide bipartisan support in both chambers sticking points remain that could derail the legislation.
As usual many legislators spoke off the record.
"We used to call the Senior Patrol Leader of our troop Caligula. I don't know what he did with his sister but you didn't want to share a tent with him."
"Our troop usually ended our camp nights with a practice not mentioned in the handbook we called "lend a helping hand to the right" as we sat around the camp fire. I wouldn't want anyone's left hand on an assault rifle while we were doing this."
"But the Boy Scouts were started by the YMCA in New York right before they formed the Village People."
"Our Scoutmaster told us if the boy is in your troop it wasn't homosexual. And we all had rifles."
"Oh, come on, everybody knew what Cub Scouts were for."
"Boys just aren't interested in the Girl Scouts cookies at that age and nobody would tell you how you could earn an Explorer badge."
"If we just gave boys enough firepower before they reach puberty none of them would be gay."
Don Arrup
Satire1
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