Thursday, February 28, 2013

Sequestration


As the nation stumbles to within hours of the fiscal cliff un-poised to absorb the nuclear option about to blow up in our face Satire1 has spoken to all the federal, state and municipal departments who face the draconian cuts and asks them what the consequences will be.

A partial list of the expected results from Washington's inability to raise their maturity to the level of three year olds follows:

U.S Forces in Afghanistan will surrender and hand over their weapons to the Taliban.

The State of Arizona will be converted into a Hispanic theme park called Gringo Land.

Israel will have to pay its own bills

Egypt won't be able to pay any

Washington politicians will have to find real jobs

MSNBC will become the Menopause channel

FOX will become the Viagra channel

The Moon will be laid off by NASA and spin off to join other moons to revolve with

National and local weather forecasts will decline from 5% accuracy to zero

Lines at airports will go from all day to all week long

High School Condom Awareness Dances will no longer be funded

Prisons, asylums and fraternity houses will be emptied into your neighborhood

College students will be reduced to reading books

National Parks will become overrun with wildlife and vegetation to the point of almost resembling nature.

Interstate highways and bridges will finish crumbling

Programs for the disabled will be disabled

Endangered species will be on their own

Abortion, Big Oil, Big Corn and Bank subsidies will not be touched

Don Arrup
Satire1


No comments: