Diana Ross Doesn't Sing Here Anymore

Despite major headline wins over DOMA and Myriad Genetics, the Obama Administration took a shellacking this Supreme Court session with the Solicitor General winning under 40% of the rulings when SGs usually bat seven hundred. Swinger Justice Kennedy was in bed with the winners in over three quarters of the cases while Scalia spanked his monkey on the bench after being left on the floor almost half the time.

For those unfamiliar with Constitutional law some of the highlights of the 79 rulings this session.

DOMA

New Yorker Edith Windsor went to Canada (a vast wasteland suburb of Detroit even drug dealers don't recognize as a country) and married a broad who later died then was whacked by the IRS for the estate tax. Since no one on the Supreme Court had ever heard of Canada and Justice Sotomayor warned her colleagues to never mess with an old dyke the court told the IRS to leave her alone.

Proposition Ate

Voters in California passed a plebiscite to stop lesbians from propositioning strangers for cunnilingus. The case was thrown back to a lower court because even the president can't get a blow job. 

Affirmative Action

Court ruled that a white girl who couldn't cut it in a Community College was violated by the University of Texas who enrolled some black kid who will be her boss some day.

Voting Rights Act

Court ruled in a five to four decision that slavery and Jim Crow never happened.

God's Patent 

Court ruled unanimously that corporations don't own your tits.

Class Action

More obstacles for plaintive(s) suing companies for discrimination, harassment, rape, murder or name calling. So it's like everyone in the country works for the United States Military.

Arbitration

Employees with legitimate complaints unlike the whiney crap mentioned above have the right to bring their grievances to a board paid for by their boss.

Immunity Beyond Borders

Companies can not be held responsible for what their subsidiaries and suppliers overseas do to their workers in the name of profit. So it's like everyone in the world works for the United States Military.

Big Drug Dealers Are Not Drug Dealers

Pharmaceutical companies who are responsible for the vast majority of addictions and overdoses slide due to included flyspeck tomes nobody can read without an atomic microscope.

Gabelli Vs United States

If your investment advisor hides or plans out a fraud for five years you're screwed.

Don Arrup

Satire1