Eye Above The Pyramid Storm

The Egyptian Army invaded Washington D.C. this morning after tens of thousands of Washingtonians had filled the streets of Capital Hill and Embassy Row demanding that some army- any army- arrest Congress, the White House and the Supreme Court.

Former President Obama is being detained at the Verizon Center Arena in a marathon town hall meeting being jointly televised by CNN and Comedy Central. The House and Senate are being kept in session without break until they can agree on anything of real consequence to the nation. The Justices of the Supreme Court are chained to their bench where they hold open first come first judged night and day court. The Pentagon is confined to quarters and the Joint Chiefs of Staff are on KP duty until they sign a pledge to stop raping their own soldiers. 

Lobbyists and political consultants are being beheaded with a scimitar at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial statue drawing the biggest crowd since the coup earlier this morning. Old ladies and children are invited from the crowd to "hack for freedom." Some of the initial blows failed to even render the offender unconscious and then it gets real pretty.

Internet and telephone polls show the American people favoring the coup by a large margin with 67% for and 22% against the Egyptian action which is now being referred to in the international press as a long overdue intervention. 

Israeli Ambassador 

"We had been thinking of overthrowing the United States government for the last few years but we feared a disruption in their foreign policy which we already controlled."

British Ambassador

"We'd been pressing the Canadians to do it for over a decade. The United States really is just South Canada and North Mexico now. Let's not pretend it is still a nation with a functioning government."

French Ambassador

"It is not like the Confederacy and Union or even Hatfields and McCoys. If Texas bordered New York there would not be a single human being alive in either state before the year was out. And they and every other state in the union hates California. In this the 49 states are united. The United Nations must find a fair and equitable way to dissolve the union and just let New Jersey and Oklahoma take over."

Chinese Ambassador

"It is time for Obama and the Congress to step down and allow the will of the people to govern. FaceBook can replace the executive, legislative and judicial branches today. If you agree please go to our FaceBook page and 'Like' us." 

Egyptian Ambassador

"You see the pyramid on the back of the one dollar bill. The United States has always been a part of Egypt. The fact that the European nations discovered America first is irrelevant. 

Danish Ambassador

"Even college students couldn't get laid. Something had to be done."

Bongo Congo Ambassador

"The three branches of the U.S. government should reflect the true character of the American people. Replace them with The National Rifle Association, McDonald's and the NFL. This is the only government the American people can trust."

Don Arrup

Satire1