Mr. Monopoly Goes Directly To Jail

FBI Seize Get Out Of Jail Cards
“Rich Uncle Pennybags will not pass Go this time.”

Boardwalk Falls To Under $600
The jewel of Atlantic City real estate being offered for less than $600 for the first time since Parker Brothers constructed it in 1935. “They’re practically giving away Baltic Avenue for peanuts.”

Water Works Found Polluted While Electric Company Goes Way of Enron
It’s a roll of the dice to see if investors will recoup anything on these utilities. “Tap’s dry for pension funds and lights out for retirees who thought they had a safe investment.”

Fear of the Bank’s Failure Sends Players Scrambling
No FDIC protection for the colored money. “I might as well have my savings in a Money Market account.”

Building Boom Halts
“The green houses are too small and who wants to live in a red hotel? It looks like whore house.”

Fed Blocks Investors Selling Short on Short Line
“Anyone hopping on these railroads is in for a ride.”

Forget Free Parking, Community Chest Overwhelmed, No Chance
“Nothing good in the cards this time.”

Income and Luxury Tax Survive Intact
Figures.

Scottie Dog Dons Top Hat, Old Shoe and Thimble Before Shooting Himself with Cannon
Pooch once thought tough as tin couldn’t face real world consequences.

Treasury Secretary Paulson Threatens To Take Over Game
“Guess my old Wall Street friends will have to learn to play Sorry.”

Don Arrup
Satire1