A spokespook for the Central Intelligence Agency outlined new techniques of persuasion to replace the illegal legal illegal possibly criminal waterboarding, which anyone with access to a newspaper or a television was fully aware of except for certain democrat members of Congress. “Being born is traumatic. Growing up is brutal and growing old is cruel. What we at the Company have been trying to affix is the line between Edgar Allen Poe and Mark Twain.”
Pending findings of Congressional hearings and opinions from the new Injustice Department, the CIA is ready to implement a whole new line of Next Generation Green torture techniques including:
Video tapes of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s explanation of how she wasn’t told but heard that some were briefed about waterboarding no they said not waterboarding and snowboarding wasn’t even mentioned
A stuttering economist and an accountant with nasal problems explaining the U.S. tax code
Al Gore
Marriage
Highlights of Detroit Lions’ last six seasons
Los Angeles traffic
New York City hospitality
Irish cuisine
Rush Limbaugh’s Christmas Show
Barney and Friends
Sequels to any hit movie
Dancing With The Has Beens
Don Arrup
Satire1
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