April Fool predicts:
Your child bringing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school in their lunchbox will be considered first degree murder of a number of their classmates.
Ammonia soaked beef byproducts also known as "pink slime" which no fast food chain will touch will be sold to public schools for their lunch programs.
Spent hens, the drug saturated burnt out eggbots of industrialized farming, will be the "healthy alternative" offered to school children.
Monsanto's genetically altered can't rot, can't reproduce, can't be digested hybrid corn will through feed, starch, oil and syrup make up over 60% of the calories Americans consume.
With Iran threatening to cut off the Middle East's major supply line candidates for political office in the United States will demand we pilfer our strategic oil reserves to bring down the price at the pumps a few pennies for summer.
Germany will allow their economic partners to collapse into chaos and depression in the name of austerity.
Rick Santorum will claim that the market forces he defended in the Medicare Prescription Drug Plan D will bring down prices to somewhere less than double what other countries pay and claim success.
The Republicans will not find an alternative to Mitt Romney.
Liberals will not find an alternative to Barack Obama.
The last major college basketball program in the country to allow non whites to play will win March Madness and portray themselves as a model for collegiate sports.
Oh shit! All this has already happened.
Don Arrup
Satire1
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