Petraeus

As the fallout of General Petraeus and Allen's irregular relations with married star hags continues and computers are confiscated and statements recorded, Satire1 takes to the shadows to find out how the spooks in the field feel about the former CIA Director's infidelity.

Napoleon Solo (Man from U.N.C.L.E.)

"Finally I understand why the THRUSH goons whipped me for fourteen hours because I wouldn't tell them who my biographer was."

China Doll

"As if it wasn't hard enough to seduce these middle aged alcoholic trench coats now we're getting competition from librarians."

White Spy (Mad Magazine's Spy Vs Spy)

"Sleeping with your biographer is just how powerful straight guys have sex with themselves."

Maxwell Smart

"Would you believe the D/CIA risked the security of the country because he was madly in love with a beautiful author? Okay, then would you believe he was fatally attracted to the kindred spirit of a fellow West Point Graduate? How about any any pretty face who flattered him and his wife looks like a pie wagon?"

James Bond

"M would never do that."

Boris Badenov

"I told you they were the real moose and squirrel."

George Smiley

"I guess two unfinished wars, the collapse of Europe, China muscling neighbors and stealing your industrial secrets and upheaval and terrorism throughout the Middle East just isn't enough action for some chaps."

Jack Ryan

"If these honchos who come over here from the Pentagon or the Hill would just spank their monkey like every other married man there wouldn't even be an Al Qaeda."

Don Arrup

Satire1