Plant Kingdom Weighs In

While the news and polling agencies wasted their time interviewing enfranchised Americans on the recent election Satire1 polled members of the plant kingdom as to who they would have preferred command their destiny.

Pumpkins- ornamental and sugar

"Obama is too thin. We don't know if Mormons have an All Saints Day so we don't know if they recognize Halloween but Romney has a Jack O'lantern smile and great hair."

Monsanto GMO Corn

"We don't care. Neither would dare touch our subsidies or the growing monopoly we have on the American and world diet. Romney doesn't drink Bourbon but he likes grits."

Hops

"Romney would have been a disaster for us while Obama's answer to racial profiling and civil unrest is to come in and have a beer."

Sugar Beets

"Michelle Obama is trying to ween your children off sugar and corn syrup in favor of moldy fruits and backyard vegetables. This favoritism is un-American and will end the hard earned attention your children won with their food allergies and asthma."

Tobacco

"Obama smokes on the side and though Romney doesn't the founders of his religion were big chewers. So we consider Romney and his contemporaries as traitors."

Wheat

"Obama has turned a blind eye to corn's Axis like takeover of your groceries. Even once sacred crackers like Saltines are losing ground to tortilla chips. It even has potatoes losing sleep."

Oats

"Mormons are just home grown Quakers so you know where we stand."

Cotton

"Stop picking on us."

Peanut

"I never saw either of them come out of their shell."

Broccoli

"The Latter Day Saints don't condone flatulence and Obama looks too thin to fart so they were a wash for us."

Lima Bean

"Ditto Broccoli."

Navy Bean

"Romney's was definitely our man. More ships more beans."

 Eggplant 

"Which one ordered an eggplant omelet?"

Don Arrup

Satire1