Koreamerica

As the United States of America continues its remarkable decline into the Third World with seventy percent of its population continuing their four decade slide into inevitable poverty, the smart money in Washington is looking for models for how a nuclear power with a tremendous military but an economy that no longer provides social mobility or even affordable health care might proceed into the twenty-first century.

Satire1 interviewed several leading politicians and think tank analysts on the issue:

Ebert Poinzhopper, American Enterprise Institute

"North Korea definitely seems to be the way for America to go. Even with a two party system  I think America is capable of sustaining the blind fanaticism, intransigence and total disregard of reality that it has for the last two decades. And this ability of being able to change leaders and parties in power without disturbing the unsustainable status quo I'm sure has the North Koreans quite jealous."

Senator Bullright

"Though I doubt Americans will continue to accept the dollar for the exchange of goods much longer, we certainly can force other countries to eat our paper under the threat of nuclear annihilation."

Vice President Biden

"Oh, we already are North Korea. No doubt about that. And I like the fat kid's haircut."

Hornbone Potz, Brookings Institution

"I don't think Korea is as divided as the United States. Up until last week the two sides actually still had some line of communication."

Big Brain Brian, Cato Institution

"Our threats to Syria and Iran are too empty to compare to the DPRK's muscular belligerence but our total dependence on China compares well."

Lizbeth Tawk, Rand Corporation

"I don't think we're capable at this time of becoming North Korea. They have much better television than ours. And other than Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade we're terrible at public spectacle. We are catching up on their total disregard for the plight of the average citizen though. Encouraging."

Don Arrup

Satire1*

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