Don't Budge

At home with the Budgets. Bud Budget likes to make money. Money is something you accumulate. Bunny Budget likes to spend money. Dollar birds should be free and fly away after they tickle your palms. Tonight, the Budgets are ordering out. 

Bud wants to go Chinese. Bunny likes Italian. Bud says the Italians service is slow and the food too expensive because they pay a living wage. Food made by drudges is healthier and costs less. You order Chinese and you are master. Order Italian and you are a paisan. Bunny fears that the sweat kitchen workers don't have health insurance and will cough on the rice. Bud says that there is only so much health to go around and we Americans are lucky to have immigrants to be sick for us.

Both Budgets love Sushi but Bud says with the kids in college they can't afford it. Bunny says put it on the credit card. Not with our mortgage and falling assets, Bud replies. Bunny calls Bud a cold fish. 

The Budgets take a break from the discussion to snack on chips. Two bags later they're down to melba toast topped with peanut butter and it is becoming an argument. Bud suggests they compromise and order from the Korean place. Bunny says the old owner's son just died and the grandson has just taken over. Nobody in the whole restaurant looks as if they've eaten in weeks except for him.

They're down to the last of the peanut butter which they scoop with their fingers when Bunny suggests the Greek place. Bud says they've been ravaged by bill collectors and probably don't even have a pizza oven anymore. Bunny says that is all the more reason to patronize them or they will close and drug dealers and banksters will take over the mall. Bud says that Big Bank and Big Pharma have been there for years but they only rob people during the day.

Bunny suggests Mexican as a compromise. They're underpaid and exploited. Bud agrees but says the guy who delivers the food won't leave. He'll want to mow the lawn or fix the roof. He'll offer such a cheap deal we won't be able to turn him away. That's how they exploit us. 

Bud shouts Quickie Burger. Bunny says she doesn't eat factory food. Real hunger starts to set in. Bunny says they'll have to start growing their own food if they are ever going to eat again. Bud spills out his wallet and demands they eat the money. Not the Dollar Birds says Bunny. Bud says eat them before they're taxed away. 

Don Arrup

Satire1