Green Eggs And Cruz

In a 21 hour filibuster speech Senator Cruz of Texas held up the chamber's vote on the House Budget Bill without ever really explaining why he doesn't like green eggs and ham. In the guise of reading to his daughters via CNN, Senator Cruz read Dr. Seuss's entire manifesto on intellectualism and demagoguery creating a new homosexual communist world order. 

Senator A

"I knew Senator Cruz was a communist but I didn't know he was gay."

Senator B

"I knew Senator Cruz was gay but I had no idea he was a communist."

Senator C

"I knew Senator Cruz was gay and a communist but I never suspected he could read."

Senator D

"I knew Senator Cruz was gay, communist and literate but I didn't know he was Jewish."

Senator E

"I wanted to hear The Cat in the Hat."

Senator F

"I'm a little wary of the eggs they serve in the Senate Dining Hall."

Senator G

"I don't eat anything green. Period."

Senator H

"I don't eat anything green and anything that can't scream."

Senator I

"Sam I am is one of my constituents and what a lot of people don't realize is that he raises pigs and chickens."

Senator J

"The green eggs are intellectuals and academics (eggheads) without any real world experience and the hams are the politicians and talking heads spouting their ignorance in the media. The box Sam I am won't eat them on is television and the fox he refuses as a dining companion is Fox News.  Since most people read their papers or listen to the radio in the morning they're pretty much our national breakfast."

Senator 

"Cruz said something about health care but it only distracted from egg story."

Don Arrup

Satire1