What would you do if you were patrolling your neighborhood with only a small Kel-Tec 9mm PF-9 handgun and you see a hoodie crossing your path armed with an AriZona Watermelon Fruit Juice Cocktail Bazooka and a whole bag of mini rainbow bombs? You call 911 and the operator tells you steer clear and allow the Swat team and National Guard to arrive but the hoodie continues to penetrate deeper into the undefended core of your and your family's existence?
Dr. Whamo, director of the Sanford Pirate House Hospital, said he had treated many casualties of juice-zookas with self inflicted wounds being about half. "AriZona makes the deadliest juice-zookas by far. Twenty four ounce tall boy. You could take out an entire kindergarten with a six pack."
Whamo went on to describe the devastation to a human body that has been skittled. "The destruction depends on what colors explode closest to the person. Sour Strawberry has the biggest bang but Banana Berry is known to be the most painful. I treated a nineteen year old who was sour skittled about a year ago. Eight hours on the operating table and he was still a rainbow."
Don Arrup
Satire1
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