Colonoscopy

(SCENE: The deepest office in Saudi Arabia's Al Mukhabarat Al A'amah (General Intelligence Presidency-GIP). BIG MO behind big desk questions X MO standing at attention in front of.)

BIG

And what did Doctor Wahzoo find there?

X

Six polyps in a configuration of four bunched closely together with one satellite on each opposing end . 

BIG

Syria, Israel, Iran and Arabia with the United States and Russia just around their respected corners. Were the polyps removed?

X

The doctor couldn't without legislation from Congress which would have to be reviewed by the Supreme Court.

BIG

And even the Japanese can't make a drone small enough to swallow.

X

If they could they couldn't let the Chinese know.

BIG

And China owns the President Obama's colon. What of Obama's former opponent Senator McCain? Do we have anything on his constitution?

X

He received a clean bill of health from the Mayonnaise Clinic in Minnesota when he ran in 2008.

BIG

When even Obama was a young man. McCain wants intervention. He even intervened across Syria's border to talk to the rebels. What did see?

X

The same as Doctor Wahzoo no doubt.

BIG

Hezbollah.

X MO

McCain wants Obama to ground Syria's air support and arm the rebels with Stinger missiles. 

BIG MO

The air. The air. What makes McCain think that even the full bore of American military might can stop what is in the air?

X MO

Or stop the seasons. Our Arab Spring is inevitably turning to hot summer. In the glare of the desert sun only Shia and Sunni will be apparent. 

BIG MO

History is as open as a book. The sand will be red.

X MO

Your orders, Big Mo?

BIG MO

Like there is anything I or Obama or Putin can do?

X MO

Our absolute control of the American Health Care chaos may be slipping with the implementation of ObamaCare. It is as unpredictable as our region. 

BIG MO

American Health Care is the Middle East. Facebook and Twitter annihilated geography. Distance and time roam with Einsteinian freedom. The only borders left are the edges of maps. National identities don't extend beyond street corners. And every man and woman hourly re-calibrates their relationship to Allah and the devil dollar. 

X MO

I have to go to the bathroom.

BIG MO

Good. Good for you. But why go to the bathroom when you could go to the United States Congress? We need an analysis of those polyps. We need an endoscopy of President Obama and what's that camera they swallow for the small intestine?

X MO

Enteroscopy.

BIG MO

We need a complete picture of the primary canal of President Obama. An analysis of his very core. Syria has gone chemical, Iran nuclear, Israel ballistic, Egypt berserk, China aggressive, Japan reactionary, Africa fundamentalist all while Canada lurks in the shadow of its Hollywood brother. 

X MO

There is nothing we can do about Canada.

BIG MO

Allah took all the sins and failings of men and made Canada. But you can get a good deal on a colonoscopy there.

X MO

That's how they make you a Canadian.

Don Arrup

Satire1